Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Jesus was a hippy preaching the word of God and Peace

The following makes an argument that Jesus was a hippie. I

1) Christ preached "Live For Today, Be Here Now"
Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. -- Matthew 6:25-26

2) Christ was considered "Dirty, Unclean, Unwashed, Defiled, Offensive"
When he was speaking, a Pharisee invited him to dine with him; so he went in and took his place at the table. The Pharisee was amazed to see that he did not first wash before dinner. -- Luke 11:37-38

Now you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? So give for alms those things that are within; and see, everything will be clean for you. -- Luke 11:39-40


3) Christ preached "Tolerance and Other Liberal Virtues"
Do not judge, lest you be judged. For, by the judgement you render you will be judged, and, by the standard you use to measure you will be measured. -- Matthew 7:1-2

4) Christ preached "Peace, Love, Justice, and Understanding"
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." -- Matthew 5:9
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." -- Matthew 5:5

5) Christ did not hesitate to drink, eat, make merry, and consort with ruffians
For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon'; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds. -- Matthew 11:18-19

6) Christ was homeless, poor, and disdained wealth
Jesus said to him: Foxes have holes, and birds of their air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." -- Matthew 8:19-20

Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also. -- Luke 18:32-34

You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me. -- Mark 10:21

Marketing - Amen

A good marketing slogan to attract people to Christianity

"Jesus neeeds you, email this to 30 people or go to Hell!

WTF!! I get about 10 religious emails a week telling me to forward to 30 people in 10 secs or else. I don't even know 30 people!

Does God really need my help in spreading (his) word? Would God really want to scare or guilt me in to sending (his) emails?

If anything, this has turned me off more to Jesus and Religion. When I see these emails, I hit delete, except if it is from my mom, but I do not return all of hers ;)

There must not be a Jesus, because if there was; he would beat the crap out of these people who create and send these emails in the first place.

They must be made by Muslims... ;P

I have to thank my Lord and Savior...

Why is it that fighters (Boxers & MMA) and rappers have to thank God/Jesus after a fight or music award? Does Jesus like to watch the fights while listening to gangster rap? Would Jesus/God want us to fight each other or listen to music about killing, biatches, and partying? We still feel the need to manipulate God/Jesus for our own purposes, as man has been doing for thousands of years.

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

John Lennon

Truth?

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him. " - Voltaire